Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
