i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Houston, we have a blender
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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