dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
