You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
