i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
