I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
