I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
