I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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