508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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