By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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