I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I understand Curling. That high.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
