It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
