I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
