Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
