omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My feet surprised me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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