I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize