So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize