Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
