What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
