I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
