my soul wont recognize me after tonight
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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