You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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