Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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