I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
