it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
