47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Terrible idea I love it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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