Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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