Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
