Having a random hookup so left but love u
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
