I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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