She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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