i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
