did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
