Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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