Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
