Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
