I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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