I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he high fived his dick after we had sex
where are my eyebrows?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
