babies were throwing up all over the place
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize
