so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
