xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
