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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
