D3 body, D1 cock
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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