Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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