Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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