he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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