and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
