I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize