i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we made out on top of his cat.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
