It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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