I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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