smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it glows. i had to have it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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