I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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