worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
