It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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