You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
