it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
