You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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