Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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