So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hippo gnu deer
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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