operation have a gay friend backfired
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
