her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
