ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
