my shit smells like andre
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize