Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
