Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There r osticjed everywhere
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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