I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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