you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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