My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
