all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do vagina's smell?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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