you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
