Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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