I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so let's talk penis.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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