well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
