I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
