i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
