I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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