he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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