I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
