she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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