The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
