i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
